Life

If I Could Choose Another Life….

Nothing in life could have ever prepared me for the many challenges that come with adulting whilst disabled. Contrary to popular belief that life gets better, when you have a disability life simply gets harder.  I honestly wish someone had warned me about this then maybe I would have been somewhat prepared for all these challenges. I am over here asking “what part of the game is this?”

I guess the hardest part also is that no-one understands what it feels like to walk in my shoes. This not some pessimistic post no this is me being real, this is my reality. I no longer what to be that person that everyone calls “an inspiration” but is not real about the difficulties and challenges that comes with being disabled. In me being real, I have often found myself in the past month wishing I could choose another life, wishing I could do redo life with a different set of burdens that exclude my disability.

Source: http://www.lovethispic.com/uploaded_images/38654-Maybe-In-Another-Life.jpg

If I could choose another life, I would choose a life with stronger legs.

If I could choose another life, I would choose a life where it wasn’t always a difficult task to find just one pair of comfortable shoes.

If I could choose another life, I would choose a life where my legs were the same length.

If I could choose another life, I would choose a life that did not involve tossing and turning at night trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in because my legs and back hurt.

If I could choose another life, I would choose a life where people do not stare at me in public.

If I could choose another life, I would choose a life where my left knee did not cause me headaches.

If I could choose another life, I would choose a life where I did not wake up with back pain on some mornings.

If I could choose another life, I would choose one where I had just one person I could really talk to about my struggles as a disabled person.

If I could choose another life, I would choose a life where I did not have to face nor deal with ableism.

If I could choose another life, I would choose a life where I was not judged by my appearance.

If I could choose another life, I would choose a life where society does not treat me with pity.

At this point if I could choose another life, I wouldn’t even think twice about it, I would choose another life that did not include having a disability.

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9 thoughts on “If I Could Choose Another Life….”

  1. Thank you for being so open and honest. This is something that is much need and very refreshing amongst Christian community. Christian culture often doesn’t acknowledge thoughts/feelings like this, that challenge the way God has allowed things for us personally in this life.

    I can’t speak to your individual situation or pretend to know what you feel like. I do however know what it feels like to feel/be all alone; with no one ( not even family) to understand or comfort you. It’s hard.

    My walk with God has been an ongoing series of surrender; accepting His will over mine. Even when it makes me cry and so very angry. It’s not easy, I dont have all the answers I desire but I hold on to the hope that it is worth it! Grace and peace to you my sister. ☺

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Maya. And it is so true in the Christian community we need to be open and admit when we are not ok after all how can God’s strength be perfected in us if we are never weak. I look back at this post and praise God because how I felt back then and how I feel now, ONLY GOD could heal my heart.

      Liked by 1 person

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