Some days are just hard

901ab7c1fd5ac4eead9708306f1bf78cSome days on this journey are just hard. You want to cry out of frustration then you can hear Fergie singing “big girls don’t cry” and you quickly swallow that lump in your throat and go on with your day. I had such a day last week Sunday. It was raining  and i needed to go to church for the 1130am service. On this particular day i decided to try a new route, take the bus and train into the city instead of the tram as i always do. The logic behind this was at least this way i won’t get wet but boy was i wrong. I kid you not the distance from my house to the bus stop is probably 300-500metres, it’s really close BUT on this day it felt like an eternity walking to the bus stop. For starters, the ground was wet which meant i had to walk really slowly which then meant the slower i walked, the more i got wet. Halfway to the bus stop i slipped and fell OUCH,( been there done that, nothing new) so i simply picked myself up. I was glad to get to the bus stop on time but the bus was late. By the time the bus came i was completely wet from head to toe. My hair was dripping wet. Gosh i was so frustrated and just wanted to go back home. However I continued with my journey and i would fall two more times on the way to church. I really wanted to stop in the middle of the road and cry because i was that frustrated. On that day i truly wished i did not have a disability. I thought if i didn’t have this disability i could have used an umbrella or better still i could have driven myself to church instead of getting wet and falling. It was hard walking past people with their umbrellas not getting wet and here i was completely drenched and i hadn’t even reached my destination yet. There was a point I heard these words that people often say to me “you must be really strong to live with a disability” and in that moment i stopped the pity party i was having in my mind. Yes it truly sucked that i was wet, yes it sucked that i fell three times but what was the alternative? NOTHING!!!! Life with a disability is all i have ever known and it is all i will ever know. For me to wish for another life is foolish, it is stupid cause i am never getting another life. This is my life. This is what God destined for me.

Whilst some days are harder than others, i refuse to wish for another life. I will enjoy my disability and learn from the difficult days.


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